10 October 2008

    Even Tiger Woods loves Caddyshack

    Tiger Woods gives a great interview here to talking about his child, marriage, his favourite movie...oh and golf and his famous knee injury too.

    Although a friendly interview, Tiger manages to evade the politics question with ease. That's right Woodsy, don't dare express an opinion that could sully your image and multi-trillion dollar sponsorship deals.


    9 October 2008

    Spaceman Invades Green, Golfers Get Angry

    So what's the strangest thing you've ever seen on the golf course?

    Ok this tops it, because I know you've never seen a deranged astronaut before.

    They got the flag back though, and that's the important thing.

    8 October 2008

    Boo Weekley: single digit IQ

    So we've established Booo is a bit of a retard. Don't believe me? Have a gander at this video:

    I think the worst thing about this is comments such as "you have to love the honesty". No you don't. I don't tell the world about the prostitutes I have kept in my basement, do I? Better to tell a lie than expose your own retardation, am I right or am I right?

    Try not to swallow your own face in frustration, golf fans!

    Boo Weekley: subnormal

    Oh Booooooo yourself, you slobbering idiots. Granted, most golfers are sterile cardboard cut-outs so I guess anyone who has a shred of charisma deserves some credit, but this guy ticks all the retard boxes.

    Judge for yourself with this clip from The Tonight Show:

    It appears I'm not alone in my disdain for this mouthbreating hick, Boston Irish shows his disgust here.

    5 October 2008

    John Daly considering Euro Tour next year

    One of our favourite golfers, big-hitting, heavy-drinking, elasticated-waist-pants-wearing anti-hero John Daly is considering joining the European tour now he's got his mojo back. Big John couldn't smash the ball as far as the old days because of a restricted swing movement caused by a cyst (the size of a golf ball apparently) limiting his famourly exaggerated backswing.

    "I saw guys hitting it by me that never hit it by me before," he said. "I was like 'there's definitely something wrong here'."

    Daly has had a dismal season this year, making just five cuts and earning $56,017 from 16 events - truly a fall from grace for a gifted golfer with a seeming will to self-destruct.

    "There are a million opportunities to play in Europe and it's a great tour," Daly said.

    "Guys on that tour have shown themselves to be great players."

    You have to feel that it's too late, even for such a prodigious talent as Daly, to turn his career round and at least compete where he should be. Daly is clearly obese which can only compound the stresses such a dramatic golf swing will place on the joints.

    Woods recovery: "won't be 100% until 2010"

    Tiger Woods will return to competitive golf next year despite his knee being "85 percent" ready. He has been urged by leading knee surgeon Lanny L Johnson to delay his recovery until he is fully fit:

    "The function of Tiger's knee will be OK in terms of motion and stability within 12 months, but tissue maturation process lags behind function. That side of things will be on-going.

    "The person's brain has to adapt to how it feels. It is based on this, and the recovery period of other athletes, that I am guessing that Tiger will need two years. Ernie Els came back after one year when he tore his cruciate ligament in a water-sports accident but, if you look, his scores weren't there for another 12 months."

    Woods devilishly stated that leading football players who have this kind of surgery need a full two years to recover but "Luckily, I don't play football".

    "The healing process for an ACL is six months,'' Woods stated in a press release for his Chevron World Challenge in December. "No matter what I try to do, I can't speed up that process. That puts me into January. Unfortunately, I can't rotate, I can't practice on that leg until then.

    "I believe the stat is after six months, the ACL is 85 percent in strength, and then over the next year-and-a-half, it will gain its 100 percent strength,'' Woods said. "So it's basically a two-year process.''

    Will Tiger still be on top when he comes back? The period before his injury was perhaps the hottest streak of his entire career, and essentially winning on one knee has further enhanced his legend.

    22 August 2008

    Ryder Cup: life or death?

    Looks like it's even more important than that according to this advertisement for Portugese TV Station Sport TV. For the slow amongst you, it's a play on the Iwo Jima flag raising picture which depicts five United States Marines and a U.S. Navy corpsman raising the flag of the United States atop Mount Suribachi during the Battle of Iwo Jima in World War II.

    It's all a bit of a two finger salute to the USA, who've lost the last three Ryder Cups. But to liken these cardboard cut-outs to real war heroes? I'm welling up over here.

    21 August 2008

    Silvestre signs for Arsenal - how?

    How indeed, when in 2007 Manchester United chief executive David Gill stated:

    "On Monday night we received a written offer and it was a significant offer. We've rejected that - yes, because it's Liverpool. We wouldn't sell to Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea. We have relayed that to the agent. We have told him that in no uncertain terms."

    This was in reference to the Gabriel Heinze transfer to Liverpool, eventually the Argentine was allowed to go to Real Madrid after a protracted transfer dealing. The rivalry between United and Liverpool is well documented, summed up by the famous Alex Ferguson statement of intent "I want to knock Liverpool off their F****** perch".

    Arsenal have signed the 31 year old French defender for an undisclosed fee, manager Arsene Wenger said of the signing: "We have a strong squad but a young squad.

    "Mikael's versatility, experience and calibre will provide the extra depth we need to reinforce our challenge for honours this season.

    "His defensive adaptability will serve us well, and it's a big plus that Mikael has top-level experience and a great understanding of football in the Premier League."

    We can only assume this means not only did United consider Silvestre surplus to requirements, but not even good enough to significantly strengthen one of their "big four" rivals.

    Tiger Woods Walks On Water

    Well we already knew that, but now it's official. Yes it's viral marketing, but it's actually not bad.

    EA Tiger Woods Walking On Water

    Original Tiger Woods 2008 Glitch Video

    We still feel pretty dirty.

    11 August 2008

    Harrington Fills The Tiger Void

    Much was made of Tiger Woods' absence; who would step up? Big Fat Phil? El Choker? Some thought Kenny Perry would crown an amazing year with a major, if he could be bothered to show up.

    Of course the answer was staring us all in our gormless faces, if Tiger could win on one knee, why couldn't Harrington with a dodgy wrist and eyelids that don't close? (have you ever seen Harrington blink? thought not)

    Harrington becomes the first ever European to win back-to-back majors and cements his place in history as one of the great players of the modern era. He has taken full advantage of Woods' absence and stepped into the Tiger-void(*) many thought wouldn't be filled. But don't think any less of Harrington for this, let's not forget his breakthrough 2007 Open win.

    The way Harrington chased Garcia down (again) was simply brilliant, he was relentless and focussed. His putting is incredible under pressure, his short game rock solid. Can he step up to the next level and attain true greatness? He thrives on adversity and being the underdog, Woods loves to be the top dog and get his nose out in front. It's going to be a battle alright.

    If it's half as good as this year, 2009 is going to be one hell of a year for golf. We need rivalry in the game, think Nicklaus vs Palmer or Monty vs Monty's Wife.

    *Prefixing things with Tiger is in. See also:

    9 August 2008

    Monty's fall from grace

    Poor old Monty didn't just miss the cut at Oakland Hills, he crashed out and equalled his worst ever round at a major championship - 84. He had previously shot the same score in appalling conditions at Muirfield in 2002 and stated: "That's the most difficult day since my poor score at Muirfield in 2002 – but the conditions added to that one,"

    "Unfortunately, it was a reasonably good day today.

    "I got off to a bad start and kept it going. When you get on a bogey run around here it’s very difficult to get off it. The course is very, very severe."

    Montgomerie was instrumental in Europe's success at this course in 2004 but looked a shadow of his former self. Well actually he looked pretty porky, but you get what we mean.

    Always ready to berate a reporter, the cantankerous Scot took exception to one reporter who chuckled at one of his answers: "Make that your last laugh".

    We feel the last laugh was anyone's but Montgomerie's.

    Whinging Poulter fumes at PGA

    Everyone's favourite golfing clothes horse Ian Poulter dramatically lambasted the PGA Tour officials for their setup of the course at Oakland Hills stating: "I drove it a little better and had more shots from the fairway which makes it a little easier, but you are just trying not to bleed to death out there,"

    "It's just like the PGA to slice your throat on the first tee and you have to try and make it round to the 18th without dying.

    "I wish I was a couple better yesterday. I putted really well today with two putts for distance, so it is okay.

    "But it is just frustrating when you stand on par threes and you are hitting five iron and aiming for a greenside bunker because you know that is the only way you can make par.

    "That's pretty sad. I am very disappointed we are having to do that on such a great golf course just because of the infatuation of having to put 30 yards on par threes when they think we are hitting irons 30 yards past where we used to.

    "We might hit our drives 30 yards further but we are certainly not hitting our irons, so why should we be aiming for bunkers to try and make par? That personally is not right, is not on, it's unacceptable."

    Pink Poulter put in a creditable performance (phew) at last month's Open Championship, and certainly isn't out of the running on day three at the USPGA. Maybe the game does need a few dramatists to spice it up.

    17 July 2008

    Lyle storms out of Open

    1985 Open champ Sandy Lyle has walked off the course after just 10 holes citing the "demanding" course and saying "the rough is so heavy in the wet that if you get out of position it's just so hard."

    Lyle had just took par on the 10th and was 11 over par when he decided to call it a day. Conditions have been testing to say the least.

    "I just couldn't score and I couldn't swing the golf club in the end. I just thought I was doing myself more harm than good.

    "For me, with the glasses and waterproofs, I couldn't get any momentum going at all so I thought I was best to call it a day."

    Lyle has history of walking off at Birkdale: he did the same in 1991.

    "I don't make a habit of it. I did it in 1991 when I didn't realise I was out of bounds until I got down there but I was way over the cut line and so I said I wasn't going back for the sake of finishing the hole.

    "This is the only course I have walked off twice, which is not good."


    As a higher handicap player I can understand the feeling of simply having had enough and packing up, but as a former champion in a global event? I think it's a little pathetic in all honesty. At least finish up your round and see where you find yourself - scores will be high.

    Lyle has little to prove, having won majors and numerous events in his career, but this is a poor show on day one. I'm certain this fine old course will take more casualties before this event is over.

    15 July 2008

    Office Sweep Verdict: Hopeless

    The only good office sweeps are when you get a front runner. So after laying down my £2 and being given FOUR picks from all the available players in this years Open, I thought I'd get at least one guy less than 30/1. Well, no. Read 'em and weep:

    1. Todd Hamilton - 250/1
    2. Soren Kjeldsen - 150/1
    3. Anthony Wall - 300/1
    4. Gregory Havret - 250/1
    No offence to any of these guys, but somehow I don't think I'll be taking home the money this time.

    11 July 2008

    Tiger Woods on track to become first billionaire athlete

    Forbes magazine reports Tiger Woods is on track to make a billion dollars by 2010. Woods has earned around $115 million in 2007 alone, and Forbes credit the golfer with annualized investment returns of 8%.

    Woods was a child prodigy golfer and much was expected of him before he turned pro in 1996, he was already a household name by 1998's Open Championship at Birkdale - also the venue for next week's event.

    But not all of this fortune has been amassed through his sports earnings, in fact most of it has come from endorsements. Woods has numerous sponsorship deals, most notably with Nike, Gillette and Buick. These are estimated to have made him over $750 million over the course of his career.

    Woods is expected to become the first athlete in the world to reach the $1 billion figure.